I am a celebrity...not!

My celebrity look-alikes...hahaha!!!

We are the reason for Christmas

Amidst all the frenzy for the holiday season packed with manic shopping and endless feasting, let us pause for a while and think why Christmas came to be. This is my statement of faith - that Christmas is the time when the Saviour was born. Born to live as a man and to die for the ones He came for. It is for me, it is for you that Christ was born so that we have a reason for the season.

Blessed Christmas, everyone!

Absolutely fabulous

My Mum. She is absolutely fabulous. She is more happening and hip than I am. She, with her sister, aunt and cousins, are going CLUBBING.

She is so funny because yesterday, she sent me an email to ask me to get online to webcam with her because she wanted to show me her clubbing outfit. And asked me what bag to carry. My goodness!! She's wearing my clothes and wearing her own knee-high boots. She's going to look better than me!!

I actually reminded her not take alcohol because she's on medication. And my dad is driving her there and back.

What am I doing? Fussing over my mum and 'nerding' away for my assignments. My mum? She's absolutely fabulous.

I tell you what I want, what I really, really want

1. Crab-soup bee hoon (from Melben Seafood, nowhere else)
2. Oyster omelette (from Glutton Square or Geylang)
3. Beef hor fun (Lor 9 Geylang)
4. Chye tao kway (white, no chilli)
5. Chwee kuay (from Tiong Bahru or Lor Ah Soo market)
6. Yong tau foo
7. Sashimi salad (from Sushi Tei)
8. Soft-shell crab hand roll (where else, but Sushi Tei?)
9. Soto ayam
10. Chicken rice (roasted & boneless)



As you can tell, I'm suffering from the effects of homefood-sickness. While I haven't lost weight, I haven't put on any either - I am still fitting in my clothes and very comfortable in them. It will be a long time more before I get to sink my teeth into any of these. Maybe I should lose weight now so I can eat them with a vegence in future..hehe..

Shock attack

New details have emerged in the investigation of the gruesome discovery.

Investigator (me) caught the suspect in action and questioned her. She claimed that there was no space in the fridge. Am I blind or what?! So I opened the fridge and showed her the space and she said that the space didn't belong to her (because we have 'designated' space in the fridges). But I told her that since it was food that was meant to be eaten and not kept for the long-term, it shouldn't affect the others who use that space. And I emphasised that it was NOT hygienic to keep food in the cupboard. She said 'OK' and 'thank you'. I told her that there was nothing to thank me for because I was just knocking some commonsense and more commonsense. 'OK' was all she said.

Isn't it shocking....she's doing a course in Translation and doesn't understand simple English, keeps leftovers in the cupboard and...one more, leaves the door opened while in the toilet. By the way, she owns a really cool, sleak laptop and one nice PDA. Shocking, isn't it?

Search ends in gruesome discovery

L was looking for her bowl that someone else in the flat might have kept by mistake. That search ended up in something that would traumatise us forever.

"Oh, ermm..wait, what's that? Am I seeing things? Zoom in.."

"Oh my goodness! What the *&^%$£"!????"

It's true. That flatmate (who has problems understanding simple English) kept the items in the cupboard under the sink even though there was space in the fridge. I'm speechless.

Gimme Moor

I admit that I'm getting lazy and running out of ideas for things to write in the blog. I really should be using the limited brain cells I have for greater purposes such as my *cough* assignments.

Bleah!

But just last weekend, I was in Ilkley Moor/Yorkshire Dales with some of my coursemates. In fact, we were led by a coursemate's mum who walks/hikes regularly and boy, was she fit! We covered about 10km in all. It took us about 4 hours with stops in-between to admire scenery and for power breaks. It helped that the weather was good too.

I'm glad for the opportunities because being a city girl, I would never have had the chance to hike and take such walks.

View of the Dales

What a laugh!

If there is nothing up here, please excuse the hiatus because I am being a good student and giving priority to my work.

*hick*

I didn't know that this existed until today.

Cheers to all the teachers out there..Happy *hick* Teachers Day *hick*!! :p

Milliness

Milliness (noun) - a state of mind or actions which reflect Milly Me.
Eg. Bitching about the stars, the moon, the sun, the sky and everything underneath them; humour tinged with sarcasm, enjoying food while worried about getting fat at the same time, ridiculous random ideas, ....the works.

Thanks to dear 'ol Bal who coined this word. Miss you and the Krazy Korner!! :(

Stupid is as Stupid gets

Grrrr!! This is frustrating. I am trying to start on my assignments but they are harder than I thought. Don't ask me what they are or expect me to explain the modules. They are definitely not my favourites and I take no joy in all these technical 'investigating language' gibberish (yes, it seems like that to me now, unfortunately).

Frustration aside, it is quite demoralising because I can't seem to get going and I'm stuck. For a person who has no peace until she makes headway, this is as bad as it gets. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it, not about what I want in the assignments but rather, cracking my brains as to HOW to even do it. The last time I felt this way was probably in JC when I had to solve some ridiculous calculus questions.

By the way, the clocks go back an hour this week onwards so it's long, gloomy nights and more windy and wet days. Bleah.

Autumn sunshine

The last couple of weeks have been rather hectic. However, I don't mind the stress because it keeps me going and it forces me out of the lazy mode (just because I'm no longer pushed like the way I was at work). For the record, I have 3 assignments that are due within the next couple of months. The first being an unassessed one of 1,500 words. This one requires an outline to be done by the end of October and the actual piece by the third week of November. Why bother since it's unassessed? This is to allow my tutor(s) to help me see if I am getting my ideas right and whether I am writing 'academically' (not blogspot.com style :p). The other 2 are the scary ones - 3,000 words each and both are due 2 January 2008. Hurrah!! In anycase, I am enjoying the process so I hope that I get something out of it.

I discovered that the Chinese supermarket sold miso paste. So I happily bought that, some bonito fish flakes and voila, I get miso soup! I also experimented the miso with rice vinegar and olive oil to make salad dressing. It certainly is no way near Sushi Tei's but it's way better than nothing.

Miso soup...my way

OK, bitch fest time. Please scroll down to the pictures if you don't want details.

One of my Chinese flatmates is doing a postgrad course in Translation. When she first moved in, we had all these 'welcome' chats.

Me: Which course are you studying?
Fm: I'm going to the computer room.
Me: Excuse me?
Fm: Huh?
Me: I asked what are you studying in university?
Fm: I will go to the computer room.
Me: (Puzzled at her lack of understanding and slightly berating self for asking a stupid question and for speaking English) I mean, what course are here in university for? As in what will you study for the next one year in university? (gesticulation, book action...)
Fm: I will do course in translation.
Me: (trying hard not to faint)

I know, it's mean but when I told that to my Mum, she laughed. She said, "Alamak! Imagine her sitting next to the Prime Minister to do translation." >> I didn't say that, my Mum did!

Anyway, the highlight of this post is about the trip I just returned from. I was at the Lake District over the weekend on a trip that was organised for the postgrad students in the School of Education. In short, it was a brilliant weekend. The weather was perfect - no rain, clear skies and sunshine, albeit the cold. Seriously, what can you ask for in a region that rains quite a lot. The company was great too. It was an international platter of characters from the Far East, to the Middle East, the Mediterranean, to Iceland and Latin America.

My biggest achievement for the weekend, along with 25 others, was to scale up Cat Bells, a mountain with a modest height of 1,481 feet (450m). It wasn't too difficult an ascent considering that there were proper tracks for climbers except that when it got to the top, it was a vertical climb that required anyone to go on fours to get to the top. You would see people stopping along the way to catch their breaths and enjoy the view. It got better as we climbed higher. I was perspiring even though it was cold. Despite that, lunch consisted of an orange and half a bag of crisps because the ham sandwich (which I had half of) wasn't exactly something nice and warm I was looking forward too after the climb. In anycase, the night before, I had decadent strawberry cheesecake with cream.

I'm sorry that you weren't able to be there but enjoy the pictures, nonetheless.

Derwent Water

Still looking a little uninspired and sleepy

The ascent

View from (nearly at) the top

Yataa!! I was there!

One other thing I forgot to mention. The skies that night was clear. So clear that all the stars in their constellation were visible. I saw the Seven Sisters, the Plough, Venus and a few shooting stars!!!

So here I am, back at my desk, trying my best to tell you what happened.

Spot the difference

I was out with my coursemate and flatmate who are from Macedonia and France respectively. We took a train to the nearby town of Knaresborough. It was a lovely, lovely place. Everything was so quaint - the tea shops, market square, etc. There wasn't a TopShop, River Island or any high street shop there - just little independent shops selling their ware, which was a fresh change from all the high street chain stores. To top it off, the weather wasn't bad at all. It's nice and quiet there, the walk along the River Nidd was fantastic and there was a great view from the ruins of Knaresborough Castle.

Nothing is impossible

View of the River Nidd and the famous Victorian viaduct from the top, where the ruins of Knaresborough Castle stand

Knaresborough isn't like Leeds where the profile of people is concerned. In Leeds, you see many different people from different racial and ethnic background but in Knaresborough, I hardly saw anyone who wasn't English, save for the few of us and the odd 1 or 2 tourists. It is typical of non-student towns or a town for that matter, where the English context is concerned. L, my flatmate and I discussed the difference between people groups. She mentioned that Europe is so diverse that while they are one continent, they are all different - a French is different from an Italian, an English is different from a German, etc. There are times where she cannot understand nor tolerate other Europeans.

Sounds familiar? I was thinking about the situation back in the flat as well. L also commented about how different I am as compared to the other 2 flatmates from China. While we are the same racially, we are poles, worlds, planets and galaxies apart where speech, mentality and behaviour are concerned. L just cannot understand why these Chinese never mix with others out of their own country nor step out of the flat. She finds it weird that they lock themselves in their own rooms, they lock their rooms when they step into the bathroom/shower and the kitchen BUT never check to see if the main door to the flat is locked or shut properly! (Hur, maybe that's the reason why they lock their rooms all the time..haha!)

I am not saying that I am superior to them but I think that there are some things, some behaviour or mentality that have to be re-looked. It is sad that these 2 girls won't know others from elsewhere because they, and the rest of their Chinese friends, only hang out amongst themselves. Oh yes, another random rant - they can't cook. They told me that they don't cook at home as their mums cook for them. Am I supposed to be surprised? So some other Chinese friend comes to the flat and cooks for them and they cook the same dish on their own for the next few days until that friend comes by again and cooks for them.

I don't know what else to say and I don't know if you spot any differences but I sure see and feel the differences. And a little laugh here: my Korean coursemates thought that I was Korean when they first saw me. What's the difference?

The Last '2'

This is the last year I will have '2' in front of my age. It's amazing how these nearly 10 years have gone by - so many things have happened.

1. I graduated from poly.
2. I went to uni & graduated.
3. Started working & quit my first job.
4. Went for teacher training & taught for 3+ years.
5. Quit teaching & go back to uni.

Amazing how things go one full circle, eh? I was a student at the beginning of my 20s and I'm STILL a student at the end of my 20s :p

Anyway, classes began a week ago. I feel so cheated of my fees because I only have about 10 hours at most. We were told that most of it is independent learning and we have to be in control of our own learning. That's why it is called a 'Masters' programme - we have to be masters of our learning. That aside, it has been all good. I have learnt interesting things but at the same time felt really stupid. I suppose this is part of the adjustment I have to make in transiting from the teaching (work/practice) mode to the technical/academic mode because all the theories discussed at lectures are so ermmm..theoratical. So I have to think about things from an academic point of view. It is only early days so there's still a lot more to go through.

Other than that, there are plenty of readings. And me, being me, for talking too much at my small group lunchtime tutorial class, I was 'nominated' (read: arrowed) to be class rep because no one volunteered or felt 'moved' to be one.

I will just shut up and let the pictures do the talking.

Rainbow seen from my window - seeing one always makes me happy, although finding that pot of gold will drive me ecstatic!

This is the view from my friend's flat on the 10th floor. Really nice!

Ahhhh!! Beloved salmon sashimi!

Oh, really?

In the mean time, enjoy this video by Timbaland 'The Way I Are'.

This week in summary

Mostly induction stuff by the School of Education - admin matters, meeting Department staff, meeting coursemates, etc. I am not sure if it has been all useful because really, it was information overload. Anyway, lectures begin next week so it's time for this old git to swing back into Studentville action.

Otherwise, I'm annoyed that my left knee's a bit off now. I blame it on the library. I was going down the stairs in the library to a room. When I sat down, something didn't feel right on the left knee. After the session ended, there was a sharp pain and there, I knew it - I bust my left knee. It seems that I twisted a muscle in the knee so I'm using deep heat rub and a knee support. I feel handicapped having to limp around. Hmph!

The worst thing that happened this week....
I FOUND A STRAND OF WHITE HAIR THIS MORNING!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
(and am I supposed to expect more??)

Sigh...and I turn 29 next week. It is, indeed, a sign.

This is Leeds 2

It's nearly the middle of September and autumn should be showing up soon but it's still nice, sunny and dry in Leeds. This is what they call an Indian summer. Here are some pictures I took today - a nice sunny day, a day I really ought to enjoy after being stuck in the subwarden training programme for 2 days. Finally got my student ID and railcard..I'm all set to go.. WOO HOO!!

This is where I dream (errmm..actually, I dream anywhere)

The Parkinsons Building that is synonomous with the University of Leeds

Sacrilegious! The old unused (small) church right by the campus has been converted to a nightclub, a bad one, I heard

Kirkgate Market - the largest indoor market in Europe (I think)

This card is power and it fits nicely into the wallet :)

Young Persons Railcard - another power card for young people to travel cheaply on the rail network. The lady who saw my birthdate on the application form exclaimed, "1978?!"

This is Leeds

Everything happened so quickly and yes, I am now in Leeds. There are a million and one things to do - unpacking, sorting, buying things for the flat, etc..on top of that, I have to attend the subwarden induction programme. So many things to be done. But it's OK, I'm happy :)

I won't say much for now - will write more when the dust settles.

View from the kitchen in the morning

31 August 2007

This is the day. It has finally come and gone. It's the start of a new beginning and I can hardly wait. The last few weeks were manic and I haven't had the time to prepare and think about going to Leeds. Not that I'm not ready but as in really sit down, breathe, chill..that sort of a thing. I only have a week before I leave so the next week will be equally packed as well.

It's my last Teachers' Day as well. I can't put things in words. But I think to put it simply, I don't think I left because I didn't like what I was doing. I left because I didn't believe that teaching and education should happen when students and teachers are not empowered but emboldened by systems that somehow make people wonder what real education is. I am certain there is no perfect or utopian system but at least I hope that this decision I made will enable me to experience a different environment where education is respected, not merely followed because it is a means to an end but to see it for a value in itself.

Whatever it is, I promise myself that I will make the best of the next year or so being a student for a change. Wherever it leads me to, only time will tell and I believe that God's choices for me are best.

For now, I will enjoy time with my family and friends before I bid them farewell. I will miss the dog too! :'(

But here's a little check-list of what I received from students:
1. Chocolates, cookies & muffins - these kids really spent time on buying/baking them. Really nice :)
2. Cards - this year's cards are somewhat different. I suppose leaving them makes them write more sincere & less 'frivolous' things like "...it's kinda fun to have you..." Of all the cards & notes I received, the one that got me thinking most was this one student who thanked me for telling her that results and marks are not everything - she's a perfectionist.
3. Errmm...bath sets - do I really stink that much? Haha!
4. Flowers - really pretty but unfortunately, they will die after a couple of days. Nonetheless, it's still sweet.
5. A t-shirt that read #1 English Teacher - the girls told me that I should wear it to my lectures everyday so that I won't have to do assignments or take exams since I'm already #1. How cute!

I will miss my students, though I'm glad to say goodbye to some of them. I most certainly will miss my colleagues who are friends. The crazy corner will be a lot quieter, more sane and sedated. No more singing, dancing, chocolates, crisps, one-liners, scandalous tales, rants, raves, etc etc...

Hello tomorrow :)

Pop!

I *LOVE* this song. I love the movie too - Music & Lyrics. If this song really did exist in the 80s, it would have been a big hit. I am quite sure Hugh Grant slapped on quite a lot of make-up for this clip because this was supposed to be 1984 when he was 20 years younger.



Enjoy!

Nearly there

Hello, hello. It's hard to believe it but I will be in Leeds in less than a month. I have just sorted my travel arrangements and applied for my visa (which I hope I don't run into problems in the process). I freaked out when I got a call from someone in the office who told me that they have just faxed my resignation TODAY 10 August, when I was made to submit it before 31 July (and I obediently did so on 27 July). But never mind! I have another 21 days of such...such... oh, never mind :)

Anyway, I am very pleased that an article I wrote is up on the BBC Leeds website. It isn't anything phenomenal but something from the heart. I might make it a regular thing to write for them. Although I won't be given a single penny for the contributions but at least it's something I can put into my CV. Now, *that* is intangible.

Now that I have sorted the admin things for Leeds, I need to look into 'personal' things - contact lenses, endless supply of green tea, etc etc. And pack clothes. I might ship some things over, like my bulky winter coats (should have left them there!! Haha!) Oh yes, I have been appointed subwarden at my accom - which means 'nanny' to the people there and the bonus of getting quite an amount of my rent. (Ashnymph - I'm staying at where you stayed in Year 1..haha!)

Oh!!! My mum is a YouTube user now. Hahaha!!!! She's been watching...ermm..ermm.. 'taichi' videos on YouTube. She just got a webcam and learnt how to use Skype and MSN. I'm so proud of her.

So yes, back to the countdown. Nearly there!!!!

The deed is done

I submitted the form. I have officially told them that I am saying goodbye.
Hello, new life :)

Take That & party

I just watched Take That on TV. How they have aged. I used to like Mark Owen but he's looking a little scruffy now at 35. In fact, all of them look a little...too much for me to handle. But I must say that Gary Barlow's looking good, perhaps the best of them all, sans Robbie Williams.

Take That - when they were boys

Take That - no sign of Mr R Williams

Anyway, I just received my induction package. I am getting very excited about this. And I can't believe that everything will happen in 2 months. So 2 months from now, I'll probably be there! I don't know what kind of people I will have in my flat, or the characters in my course or any others I come into contact with. I just know that I'm looking forward to a break from work.

So I was just thinking about the things I would like to do, apart from completing the Masters successfully.

1. Watch a pop concert Did I mention that I would like to watch The Spice Girls? Take That is playing in London in November/December. Hmmmm...now why am I only interested in the older groups? It spells only 1 thing - age!
2. Walk If I am successful in my application for the flat, I will be walking everyday. Until I figure out where the bicycle shop is.
3. Salsa Aerobics I saw a group exercise slot for this on the uni sports webpage. Besides that, there are other things I can do, like Pilates and Fab Abs. Question is, am I fit for all that? Will I give up after 3 weeks? I went for Salsa class with flatmate before in Year 2. That was just that one pathetic session. Watch this space.
4. Beauty treatments I sound like a spoilt, vain brat but having been accustomed to my Little India treats, I'm starting to panic because there is no more Little India therapist to make me feel fab. The quest for the beauty therapist shall be part of my research project.
5. Play hostess to visiting friends I have some friends who have told me they plan to drop by for holidays. Sure! E-mail me.
6. Be a involved in a club/society For a life and for whatever interests-sake
7. Keep blogging To keep all you friends updated on what's going on. (See, Gabby. For you. Haha!! Are we still going to burn Wong Kei down? :p)

For now, it's truding through the mill. At least I know that once I've cleared all that, I have something to look forward to. Hurray!! Come on, take that & party!

Dum-dee-dee-dum

So I dropped the bomb on the boss & the boss in the office downstairs. What did they say? Nothing. They were probably speechless, especially when I have one other colleague leaving too. I'm not expecting anything from them. All I want to do is to finish up & wrap everything up at work, pack & go. Another 8 more weeks to the end of the school term. I'll get there..yesssss!!!

In the mean time, I'm getting a couple of things sorted. Firstly, I'm contacting the uni about fees because I've been offered a scholarship to offset a portion of my fees. And apparently, there is a discount if I pay up a certain amount before the end of July. I'm so impressed that all these can be done online. It seems that I can get registered/matriculated online too, which means I don't have to stand in line for 2 hours to sort my fees, fill up forms just to get my student card.

Next, it's accommodation. I found out that I will not be able to stay at my old place on Springfield Mount. I've been offered a place further away, some 30 minutes if I walk back from campus. That's not too bad since I don't mind walking. But you can be sure that I will never wake up 30 minutes earlier just to walk to class. NEVER! The bus will be choice of transport. Or perhaps, I'll get myself a bicycle :) The other exciting thing about the accommodation is that I've applied to be subwarden. Yes, that means I get to be 'nanny' to an assigned bunch of residents. Hopefully, I get it because that would mean that my rental will be greatly reduced as payment for my services as a subwarden. For telling people to keep quiet & ensuring nobody treats the place like a zoo, I think it's quite a good bargain.

The neat thing about it all is that I have 24 hour internet access because I have a network point that connects me to the uni's network. Woo hoo!!! So here comes the problem. I don't know what laptop to get. I need to get it before the end of the month so that I can claim an amount from my employers (ahhhh, for once I'm not complaining about them). My brother was telling me to get a Dell. This is what I found - the Dell Inspiron 1420
That aside. This is about my Mum. She's so funny. I never knew she was such a Coach bag expert. Just a week ago, I accompanied her to the hospital for a check-up & I spotted a lady with a really nice design which was Coach-looking. I pointed the bag out to Mum & she said that it's a fakie. And she started explaining to me the differences between the Real McCoy & the wannabe - the colours, the tags, the buckles, etc. Since then, she's been looking out for Coach-looking bags to comment on whether they are real or not. According to my Mum, the real Coach bag's colour is deeper/darker. And the tag doesn't look as cheapskate, however she defines it.

Anyway, twiddle me this, twiddle me that. I think I shall start drawing up a list of things that I want to buy to be brought along to UK. 8 more weeks at work..AAAHHH!!!

Where hast thou been?

Hello Earthlings! Here I am. The month of May was a hectic one and before I knew it, I took off to the UK & stopped over in Dubai. At the blink of an eye, it's back to reality - back to work.

Anyway, this is it. I'm going to have to drop the bomb on the boss real soon because my MA starts in September and I have to give them time to get a replacement. While I feel no 'remorse' about letting them sort that out, at least I have the "milk of human kindness" to inform them and let them feel the shock for 2.5months before I bow out at the end of August and make my way to Leeds. Watch out for that!

So yes, spent quite a bit of time in England. Enjoyed it totally. Weather-wise, well, I had more sunshine than rain. In fact, I got a little toasted (got an even bigger roast in Dubai - more on that later). Edinburgh was wet, windy and cold but still as charming. I didn't take pictures there because it was raining & I certainly didn't fancy rain pouring onto and into my Canon. Finally got to hear the 1 o'clock canon shot that is fired daily on Edinburgh Castle. Otherwise, I took refuge in the shops, or rather, in Waterstones with a cup of soy latte & a book.

Back down in England, the Lake District was as glorious as ever. I managed to make it to the Beatrix Potter Museum. I managed to catch Miss Potter and really, once you have been to the Lake District, you will finally understand why so many people were inspired by that place and called that place home. Perhaps, I might want to retire there? Haha!

View from the Coffin Path - the 2 mile walk from Rydal Mount to Grasmere

London is as hectic as ever. It's nice to have a mix of both the city and the country in the same trip. I managed to watch 5 productions - Macbeth (watched this at The Swan Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon), The Merchant of Venice (at the Globe Theatre), Wicked, The Blue Men Group & Spamalot! I finally got to watch..yes...SPAMALOT! It's hilarious. All ye Monty Python fans, that is a must-see. It was a last-minute decision to watch it. I rushed like mad and was panting by the time I got to the ticket booth, with the thought that it might be sold out (since I was only 20min before showtime). But yes, I got a ticket for 30 quid and I managed to get pretty good seats too.

The stage of the Globe Theatre during the interval at the Merchant of Venice

I visited museums too. Come on, they are free. No charges, except for that voluntary donation. Otherwise, if you are in London, drop by the museums. The Imperial War Museum is a good one. Even if you don't like or aren't interested in World Wars 1 & 2 or armed conflict in general, at least go there to visit the exhibits on genocides and on The Holocaust. And yes yes yes, I got to visit the Kylie exhibition at the Victoria & Albert Museum. For a Kylie fan, that exhibition was a treat - her costumes/clothes, pictures, etc...WHHOOOAAA!! Sorry, that exhibition is no more. I caught it on the day before it was wrapped after being on display for 4 months.

The Natural History Museum is a wonder. I'm no talking about the exhibits but I'm talking about the building itself.

Part of the exterior of the Natural History Museum

I spent a nice quiet afternoon in Blackwells on Charing Cross. For all you bookworms out there, Charing Cross has a number of bookstores where you can easily lose yourself. I didn't manage to go into Foyles, this 4-storey bookstore with a variety of varieties of books. I must go in there at some point.

Out of hectic London, I found myself in the desert in Dubai.

Dubai is one city that has been carved out of a desert. It is a city that is still building-in-progress. It is striving to have the tallest, the biggest, the longest...the superlatives of mankind. Frankly, I am not at all impressed. Dubai looks like one huge construction site with cranes and building machines everywhere. Not to mention, it's dusty, dirty and HOT!! Did I mention that word? I was caught in the middle of the city tour enduring 46'C. I was drenched in my own perspiration and cleaning off sweat that formed on my head every 2 seconds. I wasn't even interested in any of the souks (traditional markets) because I felt so roasted.

One of the many construction sites with the already up & running buildings in the background

The lady taxi driver who took me to my hotel (which was the Hilton Jumeirah Beach) told me that everything has changed in the last 10 years. The prices of everything have gone up - 10 fold for her apartment. Sure, the Burj al Arab is the symbol of Dubai's development and prosperity but at the cost of the people who do not own oil wells?

Most of the population is foreign. The construction work is undertaken by the workers from the Indian sub-continent, whose bosses are from Europe, the people in the service line are mainly Filipinos and the taxi drivers are locals who don't own oil wells or from countries in the region.

Traditional transport across the Dubai Creek - mostly foreign workers

I don't think I can ever take it there because of the weather. I planned to spend an hour or so relaxing by the beach but after 5 mintues, I retreated into the room. Indeed, I was being Miss Hilton. I slept, I read and I watched TV in the hotel and only went out in the early evening to the Mall of the Emirates (the biggest shopping mall in the region) for dinner.

View from the 3rd floor overlooking the beach and the Arabian Sea

So here I am back home. Nursing a cold sore - a second one I might say. Looks like it is time for detoxing and purging the 'heat' in my body.

7 Blunders of the World

According to Mahatma Gandhi, the following are the 7 blunders of the world.

1. Wealth without work
2. Pleasure without conscience
3. Knowledge without character
4. Commerce without morality
5. Science without humanity
6. Worship without sacrifice
7. Politics without principle

So really, the only blunders we make in our lives are the result of our character flaws. We may decide on doing things that we think make us happy but are we really happy with ourselves? I suppose the bottomline is this - we may do many things but if we are not contented within ourselves, we have no peace in our souls, we will continue to live with those 7 blunders and affect/hurt others in the process.

Oscar Wilde, controversial as he was in his time, has my full respect for his genius. Among the many things he said, the following is one of my favourites.

"Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you."

What blunders have you made? What makes you wealthy? I hope that in your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you; for where your treasure is, so your heart will be.

The black suit

I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't watched Spiderman 3. But I do have some things to say about it. It was entertaining but I took home more than entertainment - I was thinking philosophy.
The black suit - the battle within, so reads one of the promotional posters. Many, if not all of us, have a black suit. We all face an inner conflict with our dark sides everyday. The battles we engage with others and whatever situations don't seem that difficult afterall. The biggest battles each of us face are the struggles within - do we have the angel on one side and a trident-welding creature on the other?

Too many a time, whenever we are confronted with situations, we end up fighting with ourselves in terms of the decisions we make and the actions we take. And with each decision made and action taken, people and situations around us are affected. Sometimes we are forced by circumstances and sometimes we make the choice of our own accord. But at the end of the day, we all have to struggle in that black suit at some point.

I remember an episode in Sex and the City (can't remember which season) where Carrie, after her break-up with Mr Big (or was it Aidan), that she went a little wonky in the brain and confronted the other woman out of insecurity. The other woman told her to take a good look at herself and stop being such a judge. It was then that Carrie realised that we are the worst judges of ourselves. In the everyday struggle in the black suit, we, unfortunately, at times, end up shooting ourselves in our own feet.

So we ask ourselves this: do we let the black suit get the better part of us or do we let the worst judge take precedence?

Rhythms Del Mundo

I love this CD. It contains many songs which have been arranged into Cuban/Latin style. There are too many favourites from the CD to be named but the song that caught me was 'Clocks' by Coldplay and Buena Vista Social Club. It's a very interesting arrangement. In fact, the entire CD gives the listener a very Caribbean feel. I felt like I was transported to some relaxing place by the beach. And yes, the unmistakable voice of Jack Johnson is also heard singing 'Better Together'. Check out the website.

The best part about this is that a minimum of £2 will be donated from the sale of each CD to the Artist Project Earth's Natural Disaster Relief and Climate Change Awareness programmes (according to the back cover). So you see, apart from enjoying good music, you are also chipping into efforts to help raise awareness of the bigger world around you - contributing to projects that provide relief to those affected by natural disasters and events that educate people about global warming.

So have a heart - do yourself a favour and make a difference in this world. (Oh woww... ;p )

Tapping fingers on the table....

I have finally moved out from the house in the far eastern corner. Sad. It's been home for so many years. In the last few days of packing, with the disposal of items and furniture, it wasn't home anymore - it was just a house. I spent the last few nights sleeping on the floor because my bed of 16 years was disposed of. I can't describe the feeling that last morning when I woke up to brush my teeth, wash up, look at myself in that mirror as I have always been doing in the last 16 years and to lock the door for the last time as I left for work.

I am now bunking in at my (paternal) grandpa's. I am not used to it because I have to share the room with my parents AND our many things. Next, there are other people in the house - grandpa, the maid, his 2 China tenants and the dog. The house is in a mess now because of the things we have. To top it off, it's incredibly hot. Goodbye to the luxury of my personal space in the large house...boo hoo!

I hope this is temporary because my dad will be travelling in and out of town quite a bit and ... here's the *tapping fingers* bit ... I sent my application to Leeds a few days back and I hope to hear from them soon, within the month of May. That means I will be here for a few more months - 4 to be precise. I hope the uni likes my 2,000 word essay. Yes, Earthlings, I had to write a 2,000 word essay to prove my worth. Don't ask me what exactly I was writing about except for the fact that I spent a total of 4-5 hours working on that (not continuously!). So watch this space!

A friend in Leeds told me that it's changed so much. In fact, she said that the skyline is very different from what it used to be when I was there. She mentioned that everything's improved - shopping (ermm...not good, I'm going to be a poor student), people (more people from other parts of UK are heading there to work), culture (plenty of music, performances, etc..YAYY!!) .. All of you out there, if you can, make your way to Leeds for a visit. I make a very good hostess :) So yes, keep your fingers crossed.

Anyway, it's back to sorting things out. This moving out thing is a huge thing. So huge that it's taken a toll on my health - I'm feeling quite unwell now. Have been unwell for a week. I hope I get better soon because I need to travel soon.

Meanwhile, I'm really, literally, tapping my fingers on the table....

There's something about Milly

I've been packing, packing, packing, throwing out, throwing out, throwing out...and I'm tired. No, wait, I'm sniffy too. My nose. I'm allergic to all the dust and I haven't stopped sniffing since I started packing last weekend. And to think about it, yes, it does make me tired. All the sniffing is tiring, and not to mention the unglamourous action of blowing my nose and sneezing hard.

Anyway, I found plenty of things. Among them, I found my own writing. I know I used to but I never realised that I had a little portfolio of short stories! I even found my composition file from my primary school days - primary 6 to be exact. And *ahem* I must say that I had good grades back then for composition. Besides my writing, I even had a file full of music things. I'm not talking about my classical piano books but real pop stuff. I didn't realise I had written out lyrics and fit tunes into them. They were very simple but this is something about me I never realised.

Perhaps I forgot all about this part of me in the midst of studying and school as I was growing up, getting busier with each year that passed. Before I knew it, this part of me just vanished. So recovering all those relics from eons ago reminded me that that part of me existed and probably still does.

Maybe as I start winding down on work later this year and go back to being a student, I might do that again. Probably. I don't know. It would be nice to re-discover myself as I was before. I can't believe it.. I can actually write music/lyrics too! Maybe I'll be a hit afterall! Hit me, baby one more time!!!! Perhaps I might try my hand at an anthology of short stories or a la JK Rowling but instead, I will write Hairy Balder...hehehehahaha!!

On another note

I shall now adopt a different mood to the sombre tone now.

1. I will be going over to England this June and while I am flying by Emirates, I shall stop-over in Dubai for a day or two. I can only afford a day or two because Dubai is such an expensive place! Dammit! The hotel rates are like New York City or London or worse(we are talking reasonable and non-dodgy ones). Looks like I have to eat sand while I am there and drink off the Gulf Sea. And I haven't even talked about shopping. Either you have to be earning plenty of money to survive there or you own an oil field in the Middle East. Otherwise, it's crazy.

I heard my Dad telling Mum about that region and yes, I do remember Mum telling me about her friend from there. It sounds all so ironic - they seem pretty conservative but yet live so lavishly. I was told that the (western) expatriates in the region are treated with some sort of suspicion even though they go in there with good intentions with their expertise such as in engineering and finance. Dad said that foreigners who work there are mostly 'high-end' people with plenty of experience in their field (haha..as good as telling me 'Better not try going there to work unless you really are something and someone' :p)

I wonder how I will be viewed and treated since I am hopping by there on my own for the 1-2 days. Seriously speaking, how much damage can I possibly cause? Of greater concern though, is my safety. Then again, in such a world and in such a time, can anywhere be safe?

2. So after months (and perhaps, even years) of deliberating, my Dad has finally given me his blessing to go back to Leeds to pursue my Masters :) While I may seem like someone who is never at a loss for words, I always lose the words when I am in a truly heart-strung moment. It is through times like these that I realise how bad I am with words. I wanted to say 'Thank you' but the words couldn't come out - I could have cried. I am Weepy Hollow. But really, I don't think it was an easy decision for my parents to make. I really appreciate the fact that they are willing to sacrifice part of their retirement funds for me to pursue my Masters. Just saying 'thank you' isn't good enough.

Sigh..I am the daughter that cost them so much, even before I was born and up till now, I still am quite a bit of a burden.

That aside, it's time to get down to the application and yes, I have to start writing an essay as part of the application process.

In case anyone might be wondering to what I will be applying to, I will be taking the MA in English Language and World Englishes. Surprise move again, considering that Law was my first degree. Again, my Dad put sense into my head - with the experience I have in teaching, and teaching the language, what more suitable programme is there than this? I was initially, quite adament about going back to Law School but being an 'obsolete' lawyer, it might put me at a disadvantage if I ever went back into the legal fraternity. That's why Dad said that I should bank on my current experience and knowledge to gain something that will give me an edge over others.

The School of English is an excellent one and yes, JRR Tolkein was part of it before (eons ago, darling). The most recent and familiar figure who passed through the doors of the School of English in Leeds is Corinne Bailey Rae. Sorry everyone, I think I will be a disappointment. I can't sing and I can't write songs/music. I will never be a hit.

It is exciting to go back to Leeds. Great music and arts culture, plenty of opportunities to breathe fresh air that is often stale in cities (in the physical sense and otherwise). But I shall have to cut down on that shopping thing and perhaps even earn extras by working in the library *yawn* or The Library (hehe..this is a different one at the corner of Hyde Park and Clarendon Road)

3. While I am there in the European continent, I must make it a point to visit Auswitcz. This is something that I have wanted to do for a long time and I must not miss the opportunity to do so. I was just reading an article on the Holocaust recently and I thought to myself that I have neither blonde hair nor blue eyes so I would have been sent to the ghettos, and on to the camps to be gassed to death! So out of respect and in the name of humanity, I *MUST* while I can, make a trip to Auswitcz. I suppose it is legitimate to be a Weepy Hollow there then.

Aye, aye, enough from me. This is another note too many. Zip.

Memories

How can you take apart a ferris wheel? How can you take it apart and move it away? I guess you can. When it's done, it's all over, it moves and it starts all over again. How can you pack and throw 16 years of memories into boxes and black trash bags? You can't.

We move out of the house in a week's time. My parents have been packing and moving things to my grandpa's place the last couple of weeks. I haven't had the time to do any packing until this weekend. It started off when my Mum told me that someone will remove the piano to my Small Aunt's house. It was when I realised it was time to go. Suddenly, I went into this frenzy and started throwing things into black trash bags but still, 95% of my things are still in the room. My Dad said that in the coming week, the Salvation Army will come for my beloved bed. Tell me, how am I supposed to handle this?

I suppose this is a lesson learnt - not to buy too many or any clothes, shoes and bags (CSB). If there's anything to sort, it's the CSB. If there's anything I should be throwing out or giving away, it's the CSB. But surely, those are just things.


I found cards, photos and old presents from friends and family. How could I possibly bear to throw away all these heart-felt and thought-filled tokens? The one thing I had most difficulty with was this glass figurine of a crane and a duck which decked out Barbra Streisand's 'The Way We Were' when I turned it at the bottom. It was a Christmas gift from my late aunt when I was still in school and it has been sitting on my piano since then. I couldn't simply put it into a box. I can't.

You see, my aunt introduced me to Barbra Streisand when I was in primary school and that was one song she used to hum and the one song I learnt to play - it made her proud and happy that I managed that. The figurine bore too much of a memory to simply pack away. I make no apologies for being a sentimental weepy but when people mean this much to me, just as my late aunt did (who still does and always will), I want to do justice for their importance in my life and not just 'pack it away'. It is true that people come and people go but when someone like my late aunt who was taken away all too soon and all too painfully, time never seems like it is ever enough to heal or fade away the memory of her. Mum was trying to hold back her tears when I showed her that figurine.

One thing is for sure though, as we move out from this house, a new chapter begins. But we will always remember the way we were.

The Way We Were
by Barbra Streisand

Memories
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-coloured memories
Of the way we were

Scattered pictures
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that is was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? Could we?

Memories, can be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were....

Oh, if you can, do try and catch this classic film (The Way We Were) starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford.

Give me face

This is ridiculous. Please don't get me wrong. I am not being anti-social. First, there's Friendster - people on that list are friends, not simply strangers plucked out of the virtual community. Now, I'm pulled into Facebook by the people who are already on my Friendster list. Not entirely. I got into Facebook because 2 friends from England got me in. I have received a couple of requests from people who are already on my Friendster - cheers, mates, for giving me face ;p

I love my job ....??

Animal farm?

George Orwell was such a genius. Absolutely brilliant.

"'Comrades!' he cried. 'You do not imagine, I hope, that we pigs are doing this in a spirit of selfishness and privilege? Many of us actually dislike milk and apples. I dislike them myself. Our sole object in taking these things is to preserve our health. Milk and apples (this has been proved by Science, comrades) contain substances absolutely necessary to the well-being of a pig. We pigs are brainworkers. The whole management and organisation of this farm depend on us. Day and night we are watching over your welfare. It is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples. Do you know what would happen if we pigs failed in our duty? Jones would come back! Yes, Jones would come back! Surely, comrades,' cried Squealer almost pleadingly, skipping from side to side and whisking his tail, 'surely there is no one among you who wants to see Jones come back?'"

How obscene!

Straight is IN!!

I am definitely straight. And so is my hair. It's in! Straight hair is in! After the ceramic perms, plastic perms, oxygen perms, etc, straight is back :) I don't care what perms but hurray, straight hair rules now.

So it's not just the straight, ironed-flat hair but straight with body. Think Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon, just to name a few, at the Oscars this year. What did they wear on their heads? Straight crowning glories.

The reason why I am so excited about this is because I have always lamented about my straight hair and since I don't-know when, I have told myself that I must give myself a perm, if not, do big curls on my tresses. Well, I did the perm thing about 4 years back. It didn't last more than 2 weeks because my hair refused to stay permed. No one could really tell that I had a ceramic perm and that was a complete waste of time and money. In that 2 weeks, I had to apply some cream conscientiously to my hair after every wash and blow dry it in some style. Too much trouble.

Wasn't all too happy when the permed look was in the last few seasons, especially when my hair is straight and flat to the point that hairdressers always ask if I ever rebonded my hair. But now, what joy, the striaght look is in. So you see, straight is good afterall. Less problems. It's just wash and go for me now :)

For once, I feel like I'm with the crowd :p

The Pursuit Of Happiness

It is an ellusive and long search for happiness. One then asks, "what is happiness?" To some, it is having money and yet for some, it's that simplicity of life and the tranquility that comes with it that therefore, equates to happiness.

In such a complicated and demanding environment, it is hard to remember what happiness really is. I know. Because I have forgotten what happiness is. 'tis sad, isn't it? I am facing the biggest challenge of my life - crossroads. This is something that I have talked about in my previous posts but as the year progresses, this urgency is more than just an urgency but a great struggle and fear. Perhaps it's the cumulation of unhappiness that has made this crossroad a difficult one.

To be very honest, dear Earthlings, I don't know what it is like to be truly happy now. I really don't. Everyone thinks that just because I smile, just because I am cheery and come up with silly jokes and ideas, I am happy. How wrong!

I can't even explain it but I feel stuck in a rut. I feel like I am running in circles, in a tunnel that sees no light. I don't know if where I am and what I am feeling now is a result of choices I made back then. Perhaps. And perhaps not. The truth is, I don't even know what I want. I don't know what makes me happy. I don't know. I have come to realise that the reason for wanting out, apart from being burnt out, is that I am sick and tired of this place. And now, I don't even know where I want to go and what I want to do because I don't know what makes me tick!

It's not the void of happiness or sadness I feel. I think I have come to a stage past that - I am just utterly miserable. Everyday I wake up wondering if this is the way I am going to feel for the rest of my life. I don't know what to do although I do know that I plan to leave my current job soon. Just today, while in my own world, I wondered if the chap up in the sky is making a joke out of me or I have made a joke out of myself. Or perhaps his enemy is laughing at me for falling into his trap.

Just a week back, I had the worst dream ever. I dreamt that the doctor gave me a death sentence and when I protested that it cannot be and that I don't want to face it because I haven't experienced the greatest things in life nor found my happiness, the sickest feeling and answer came from the nurse in the dream. "It might be better this way. You go alone. No one else has to suffer with you." I never felt so sick in the stomach before and it was a real feeling and I woke up crying. Maybe it's a reflection of not just how unhappy but also how lonely I feel in this walk.

I don't know what I should do for now. I don't know what anyone can do for me because I don't think I should be expecting that - it's my life. What I do know is that I have to find my way out of this rut soon because I don't want to live like this and die an unhappy person. I can only hope and pray that God will open up doors and heaven to me - I am at my wits end, I am burnt out and dried up.

Dear Earthlings who are reading this, I don't need sympathy or any mention of this to people in the family (and I tell the whole world of strangers about it..ha!) I only want to say this to you, that the pursuit of happiness is a struggle. And nobody can make you happy or tell you how to be happy unless you are truly happy because you worked towards it. Working towards it is another story but when you attain that happiness, that's what sweet victory is.

And Dear God, if you are reading this, won't you send me an angel? I am only a child. In the pursuit of happiness.

Life is a party

Life may not always be the party we hoped for but while we are here, we might as well dance.

Who am I? What am I?

Thanks, Elly! This was fun :p

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Quarter-Life Crisis

I spent some time exchanging emails with my dear friend, YP, in KL. Without being labelled as a mean, sadistic individual, I felt some sort of relief when we were grousing about similar feelings we are going through right now. So the mystery is solved. We are going through quarter-life crisis.

Here are some characteristics of the crisis:
(courtesy of Wikipedia)

* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at his/her academic/intellectual level - CHECK
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career - DOUBLE CHECK
* confusion of identity - urrmmm..sorry, were you talking to me or my evil twin?
* insecurity regarding the near future - CHECK CHECK CHECK
*insecurity regarding present accomplishments - urrrmmm...what accomplishments?
*re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships - hmmm....let me think
* disappointment with one's job - CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK
* nostalgia for university or college life - CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK (give me my books NOOOWWWWWW!!!!)
* tendency to hold stronger opinions - I'm NEVER wrong..heh!
* boredom with social interactions - *yawn* Did someone just say something?
* financially-rooted stress - just show me the money..dammit!
* loneliness - urrrmmm...is it weird to talk to oneself while driving? :p
* desire to have children - it's fun to play with someone else's kids
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you insecurity regarding present accomplishments - until you find out that they are feeling that same insecurity

And they say there is a mid-life crisis.

All hail Green Day, who have penned it as such

Time of Your Life
Another turning point;a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So Graham Norton

I miss this guy. He is SOOO funny. But with his kind of (objectionable) humour, he may not be appreciated, especially on Singapore TV.

West end

Having been an east ender the last 16 years, the west is a totally new world for me. I did live here in the west before when I was little and lived with grandma. Coming to the west was a weekly thing before but now that I am here, there are a few things I have observed.

1. Grocery
I used to be a NTUC person. But now, I am a Cold Storage person. That means pricier groceries (gasp!) but much fresher products. It is true. I went to the NTUC at Bukit Timah Plaza (which by the way, was where my playschool was - Sherwood Towers). It was quite disappointing because the food there was hardly fresh and product range was rather limited.

Switch to Cold Storage. Tadah!! It is, by the way, Singapore's oldest supermarket chain. I LOVE the vegetable section. It is so...so..green! Being a veggie-lover, that section is such a joy. I must say that the Jelita Cold Storage veggie section, compared to the King Albert Park outlet is nicer and greener, in terms of the layout. An unhealthy obsession for the healthy food but really, that section makes me happy. Even the cold food section looks wonderful. Everything there looks fresher. Perhaps the grass is greener on the other side?

2. People profile
I am not being atas (high class) here but because of Cold Storage, even the people are different from the NTUC crowd. Definitely more expats and seemingly more affluent people in the supermarket. Afterall, the prices of things sold in Cold Storage are at least 10-20cents more expensive than NTUC. So maybe, it is a sign of the people profile. The normal aunty will complain about a 5cent difference that is higher. The happy aunty will buy in bulk when things are 10cents less - but frankly who is not auntified? We are all humans, from the east end and west end.

There is still much of the west that isn't like what I described. A big bulk of the west is in the Bukit Batok/Jurong area where the average Singaporean lives. There, it is NTUC and one huge Giant hypermart. Afterall, this isn't Monaco.

Letting go

I packed some of my things last weekend to stay at my aunt's place for a while. My parents have gone back to the US for a while and will be back again at the end of March to do the real clean-up and packing of the house before we finally hand it over to the yuppie owners. I could still stay on in the house but because the house next door is undergoing massive renovations and the dust and dirt as a result of that aren't exactly what I want to live with everyday. Of a greater concern is the labourers who are working on the neighbour's project. Not very safe for me to be at home alone when all those people are moving around.

But it was difficult to leave. Afterall, since when has saying goodbye been easy? The plan for me to stay at my aunt's was thought of way before, since we found out that the house next door was going to be renovated. But I never got down to clearing and packing (well, not everything though - think about the possessions one would have amassed after 16 years). It was only last weekend, at the last moment, that I threw in some things into my suitcase to be brought over to my aunt's place. While I was clearing the cupboards and shelves, I inevitably came across things from times past. We all know that feeling and I just had to cry. The thought of leaving the house was too much to handle.

I have lived away for a while, done my share of travelling and spent countless hours away for whatever reasons. But I knew that at the end of the day, there was a place that I could go home to. That was the place I called home. To be plucked out of this comfort, or rather, to let go of this place is difficult. It has been more than just a physical structure. It has been and always will be the place where the heart lies - home. My family has been scattered or separated through space but that structure has been home. Our home.

Call me a sentimental weepy, but even when I visited my uncle at Chinese New Year, it brought back many memories for me. He lives in a condominium where I used to live and his place was where my brother and I used to go when we were kids to be baby-sat by him and my late aunt. Or just to go over to hang out. It was a step-back-in-time feel - the sofa set is the same as it was years ago (primary school days, everyone). There were some books on his shelves that I used to read with my brother and my cousin - I found one with my scribbling on it in my primary school handwriting.

My parents and I took a walk round the condominium and went past the unit we used to live in. The aluminium grille and backgate are still intact! After 20 years! As we walked, I saw flashes of the past. My brother and I playing with the neighbours in the various parts of the estate. Our BMX gang versus the roller-skating girls, eating the dew (honey, I was told, because of its sweetness) off the ixora (flower) plant, the hiding spots for hide-and-seek (did I ever mention I hid inside dustbin chambers before?), the swimming pool that got me into trouble...haha!

Difficult to let go, isn't it? Just a couple of days ago, I went back to the house after work to check that there were no leaks from the wet weather, and, of course, to clear the mail. I couldn't bear to leave. Not that my aunt's place is the dumps (it's the exact opposite, really) but there truly isn't anywhere like home. I kept looking at the clock because I knew that time was running out and I had to go.

Either I let go of the sentimental weepy or the sentimental past. Letting go is difficult, both ways. With big decisions to make within the next few months, taking on new challenges will require new strength. But holding on to the past for once, will give new strength, new hope. Maybe I have to let go, and let God.

When pigs fly

Today is the 4th day of Lunar New Year. The year of the Golden Pig - for prosperity, abundance and that bit of turbulence. True or not, I don't know but what I do know is that so many things are happening.

1. Moving house
So all ye faithful readers, you would, by now, know that my house has been sold. We got a better than expected price for it. Quite a few people came by to view the house and it was narrowed down to 2 couples - the curry puff man with his spa-owning wife and the yuppie couple. In the end, the yuppie couple got it. And gave us more than we asked for. Yippiee!!

My parents have not bought a new place. I will be bunking in with my aunt for a while till....

2. The next step
I am pretty sure by now that I intend to say goodbye to the everyday job. But what happens next is still a mystery. I plan to pack and fly back to England where I could *AHEM* do supply teaching - the money is attractive (and get whacked by teenage yobs....NOOOOOOO!!!!!)
Or I could do freelance job for a few months, travel, back to England to work, then travel and back to work, travel...all within 24 months.

The truth is, I would actually love to go back to study. After all that I have been doing the last few years, I would like to switch places and hit the books again. I would like to take a break and start things afresh. I do admit though, that I am not the brilliant, straight A student. A far cry, in fact. But I suppose I can make it up with my interest in learning and gaining new knowledge - who's laughing now?!

The ideal would be to head back to Leeds to do my Masters (I have gotten in touch with my prof already) but somebody show me the money. Maybe, and probably, pigs WILL fly! Wheeee....!!!

Exercise your music muscles - name the bands!

Virgin Digital created the above picture as part of one of their campaigns to promote their services. It is a very clever billboard because 72 bands/singers are represented in it. See how many you can name. Click here - it might be better & clearer....

These are my answers:
1. Matchbox 20 2. Green Day 3. Queen 4. Sex Pistols 5. Prince 6. Guns & Roses 7. 50 Cent
8. The Scissor Sisters 9. Blind Melon 10. Smashing Pumpkins 11. Lemonheads
12. Alice in Chains 13. Blur 14. Gorillaz 15. Cypress Hill 16. Deep Purple 17. Rolling Stones
18. The Police 19. Pink 20. U2 21. Bee Gees 22. White Snake 23. Manic Stree Preachers
24. Madonna 25. Presidents of the USA 26. Eagles 27. B-52 28. Crowded House 29.Garbage
30. Beach Boys 31. White Stripes 32. Blues Brothers 33. Living in a Box 34. Seal
35. Led Zepplin 36. Blondie 37. The Pixies 38. The Cars 39. Nine Inch Nails
40. Red Hot Chilli Peppers 41. Eminem 42. Radiohead 43. Pet Shop Boys 44.....

That's all I can think of. Anymore?

Cross-roads

It looks like this year is a year of cross-roads. I may have mentioned about that work-wise & till now, I'm pretty sure what I plan to take as the next step in the months down the road. What happens after that is another thing altogether.

The next big thing to happen is that my parents are selling the house. This is the house we've lived in the last 16 years. This is where my brother & I, along with our cousins, grew up. So many things have happened in the last 16 years and it's time to close the chapter on this place we called home the past years wherever we were. It's a strange feeling, je ne sais quoi. Even things in the house have their own way of saying that it's time. The washing machine that has served us faithfully is getting tired. The cuckoo clock that has been hanging in the dining area was a gift from some family friends at our housewarming when we first moved in. It just stopped working.

Where we go from here, it's still a mystery. Afterall, at cross-roads, anywhere is a possibility.

Twenty-Oh Seven

We are now into the 7th year of the new millennium. Funny how the entire planet, at one point of time, was getting ready for Y2K and Y2K-proofing their systems. At the blink of an eye, 6 years have gone by. So what did I do in the last 6 years?
1. Went through uni
2. Graduated from uni
3. Started working
4. Quit my first job
5. Trained to teach
6. Have been teaching since

I foresee that 2007 is going to be an interesting year. For one, I've arrived at the 3 year mark, which means that I am now at a turning point, another cross road. I can choose to continue doing what I am doing now or move on to something else. I won't be able to say anything much for now because everything is still in the drawing room. Besides, I don't even know what is what for now. Nonetheless, market research is in progress.

So here lies 2007 - an exciting year with the unknown. Here's to a future!

Happy New Year, everyone :)