I spent some time exchanging emails with my dear friend, YP, in KL. Without being labelled as a mean, sadistic individual, I felt some sort of relief when we were grousing about similar feelings we are going through right now. So the mystery is solved. We are going through quarter-life crisis.
Here are some characteristics of the crisis:
(courtesy of Wikipedia)
* feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at his/her academic/intellectual level - CHECK
* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career - DOUBLE CHECK
* confusion of identity - urrmmm..sorry, were you talking to me or my evil twin?
* insecurity regarding the near future - CHECK CHECK CHECK
*insecurity regarding present accomplishments - urrrmmm...what accomplishments?
*re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships - hmmm....let me think
* disappointment with one's job - CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK
* nostalgia for university or college life - CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK (give me my books NOOOWWWWWW!!!!)
* tendency to hold stronger opinions - I'm NEVER wrong..heh!
* boredom with social interactions - *yawn* Did someone just say something?
* financially-rooted stress - just show me the money..dammit!
* loneliness - urrrmmm...is it weird to talk to oneself while driving? :p
* desire to have children - it's fun to play with someone else's kids
* a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you insecurity regarding present accomplishments - until you find out that they are feeling that same insecurity
And they say there is a mid-life crisis.
All hail Green Day, who have penned it as such
Time of Your Life
Another turning point;a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test and don't ask why.
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
So Graham Norton
I miss this guy. He is SOOO funny. But with his kind of (objectionable) humour, he may not be appreciated, especially on Singapore TV.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
West end
Having been an east ender the last 16 years, the west is a totally new world for me. I did live here in the west before when I was little and lived with grandma. Coming to the west was a weekly thing before but now that I am here, there are a few things I have observed.
1. Grocery
I used to be a NTUC person. But now, I am a Cold Storage person. That means pricier groceries (gasp!) but much fresher products. It is true. I went to the NTUC at Bukit Timah Plaza (which by the way, was where my playschool was - Sherwood Towers). It was quite disappointing because the food there was hardly fresh and product range was rather limited.
Switch to Cold Storage. Tadah!! It is, by the way, Singapore's oldest supermarket chain. I LOVE the vegetable section. It is so...so..green! Being a veggie-lover, that section is such a joy. I must say that the Jelita Cold Storage veggie section, compared to the King Albert Park outlet is nicer and greener, in terms of the layout. An unhealthy obsession for the healthy food but really, that section makes me happy. Even the cold food section looks wonderful. Everything there looks fresher. Perhaps the grass is greener on the other side?
2. People profile
I am not being atas (high class) here but because of Cold Storage, even the people are different from the NTUC crowd. Definitely more expats and seemingly more affluent people in the supermarket. Afterall, the prices of things sold in Cold Storage are at least 10-20cents more expensive than NTUC. So maybe, it is a sign of the people profile. The normal aunty will complain about a 5cent difference that is higher. The happy aunty will buy in bulk when things are 10cents less - but frankly who is not auntified? We are all humans, from the east end and west end.
There is still much of the west that isn't like what I described. A big bulk of the west is in the Bukit Batok/Jurong area where the average Singaporean lives. There, it is NTUC and one huge Giant hypermart. Afterall, this isn't Monaco.
1. Grocery
I used to be a NTUC person. But now, I am a Cold Storage person. That means pricier groceries (gasp!) but much fresher products. It is true. I went to the NTUC at Bukit Timah Plaza (which by the way, was where my playschool was - Sherwood Towers). It was quite disappointing because the food there was hardly fresh and product range was rather limited.
Switch to Cold Storage. Tadah!! It is, by the way, Singapore's oldest supermarket chain. I LOVE the vegetable section. It is so...so..green! Being a veggie-lover, that section is such a joy. I must say that the Jelita Cold Storage veggie section, compared to the King Albert Park outlet is nicer and greener, in terms of the layout. An unhealthy obsession for the healthy food but really, that section makes me happy. Even the cold food section looks wonderful. Everything there looks fresher. Perhaps the grass is greener on the other side?
2. People profile
I am not being atas (high class) here but because of Cold Storage, even the people are different from the NTUC crowd. Definitely more expats and seemingly more affluent people in the supermarket. Afterall, the prices of things sold in Cold Storage are at least 10-20cents more expensive than NTUC. So maybe, it is a sign of the people profile. The normal aunty will complain about a 5cent difference that is higher. The happy aunty will buy in bulk when things are 10cents less - but frankly who is not auntified? We are all humans, from the east end and west end.
There is still much of the west that isn't like what I described. A big bulk of the west is in the Bukit Batok/Jurong area where the average Singaporean lives. There, it is NTUC and one huge Giant hypermart. Afterall, this isn't Monaco.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Letting go
I packed some of my things last weekend to stay at my aunt's place for a while. My parents have gone back to the US for a while and will be back again at the end of March to do the real clean-up and packing of the house before we finally hand it over to the yuppie owners. I could still stay on in the house but because the house next door is undergoing massive renovations and the dust and dirt as a result of that aren't exactly what I want to live with everyday. Of a greater concern is the labourers who are working on the neighbour's project. Not very safe for me to be at home alone when all those people are moving around.
But it was difficult to leave. Afterall, since when has saying goodbye been easy? The plan for me to stay at my aunt's was thought of way before, since we found out that the house next door was going to be renovated. But I never got down to clearing and packing (well, not everything though - think about the possessions one would have amassed after 16 years). It was only last weekend, at the last moment, that I threw in some things into my suitcase to be brought over to my aunt's place. While I was clearing the cupboards and shelves, I inevitably came across things from times past. We all know that feeling and I just had to cry. The thought of leaving the house was too much to handle.
I have lived away for a while, done my share of travelling and spent countless hours away for whatever reasons. But I knew that at the end of the day, there was a place that I could go home to. That was the place I called home. To be plucked out of this comfort, or rather, to let go of this place is difficult. It has been more than just a physical structure. It has been and always will be the place where the heart lies - home. My family has been scattered or separated through space but that structure has been home. Our home.
Call me a sentimental weepy, but even when I visited my uncle at Chinese New Year, it brought back many memories for me. He lives in a condominium where I used to live and his place was where my brother and I used to go when we were kids to be baby-sat by him and my late aunt. Or just to go over to hang out. It was a step-back-in-time feel - the sofa set is the same as it was years ago (primary school days, everyone). There were some books on his shelves that I used to read with my brother and my cousin - I found one with my scribbling on it in my primary school handwriting.
My parents and I took a walk round the condominium and went past the unit we used to live in. The aluminium grille and backgate are still intact! After 20 years! As we walked, I saw flashes of the past. My brother and I playing with the neighbours in the various parts of the estate. Our BMX gang versus the roller-skating girls, eating the dew (honey, I was told, because of its sweetness) off the ixora (flower) plant, the hiding spots for hide-and-seek (did I ever mention I hid inside dustbin chambers before?), the swimming pool that got me into trouble...haha!
Difficult to let go, isn't it? Just a couple of days ago, I went back to the house after work to check that there were no leaks from the wet weather, and, of course, to clear the mail. I couldn't bear to leave. Not that my aunt's place is the dumps (it's the exact opposite, really) but there truly isn't anywhere like home. I kept looking at the clock because I knew that time was running out and I had to go.
Either I let go of the sentimental weepy or the sentimental past. Letting go is difficult, both ways. With big decisions to make within the next few months, taking on new challenges will require new strength. But holding on to the past for once, will give new strength, new hope. Maybe I have to let go, and let God.
But it was difficult to leave. Afterall, since when has saying goodbye been easy? The plan for me to stay at my aunt's was thought of way before, since we found out that the house next door was going to be renovated. But I never got down to clearing and packing (well, not everything though - think about the possessions one would have amassed after 16 years). It was only last weekend, at the last moment, that I threw in some things into my suitcase to be brought over to my aunt's place. While I was clearing the cupboards and shelves, I inevitably came across things from times past. We all know that feeling and I just had to cry. The thought of leaving the house was too much to handle.
I have lived away for a while, done my share of travelling and spent countless hours away for whatever reasons. But I knew that at the end of the day, there was a place that I could go home to. That was the place I called home. To be plucked out of this comfort, or rather, to let go of this place is difficult. It has been more than just a physical structure. It has been and always will be the place where the heart lies - home. My family has been scattered or separated through space but that structure has been home. Our home.
Call me a sentimental weepy, but even when I visited my uncle at Chinese New Year, it brought back many memories for me. He lives in a condominium where I used to live and his place was where my brother and I used to go when we were kids to be baby-sat by him and my late aunt. Or just to go over to hang out. It was a step-back-in-time feel - the sofa set is the same as it was years ago (primary school days, everyone). There were some books on his shelves that I used to read with my brother and my cousin - I found one with my scribbling on it in my primary school handwriting.
My parents and I took a walk round the condominium and went past the unit we used to live in. The aluminium grille and backgate are still intact! After 20 years! As we walked, I saw flashes of the past. My brother and I playing with the neighbours in the various parts of the estate. Our BMX gang versus the roller-skating girls, eating the dew (honey, I was told, because of its sweetness) off the ixora (flower) plant, the hiding spots for hide-and-seek (did I ever mention I hid inside dustbin chambers before?), the swimming pool that got me into trouble...haha!
Difficult to let go, isn't it? Just a couple of days ago, I went back to the house after work to check that there were no leaks from the wet weather, and, of course, to clear the mail. I couldn't bear to leave. Not that my aunt's place is the dumps (it's the exact opposite, really) but there truly isn't anywhere like home. I kept looking at the clock because I knew that time was running out and I had to go.
Either I let go of the sentimental weepy or the sentimental past. Letting go is difficult, both ways. With big decisions to make within the next few months, taking on new challenges will require new strength. But holding on to the past for once, will give new strength, new hope. Maybe I have to let go, and let God.
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