Retards in leotards

This is the gym. There is a variety of people. Because of this variety, there are many reasons why people do what they do or dress the way they dress in this place called the gym.

1. The Poseur
This, by far, is the most common category of people you will find in a gym. There are many types of poseurs in the gym but the bottomline (pun intended) is this - to see and to be seen.

(i) The Socialite
More often than not, the ladies fall into this.

They show up in some oh-too-tight hot shorts and sports bra top. To begin with, they do NOT need the gym. I repeat, they do NOT need the gym. 'nuff said.

To add the icing to this, there is a butterfly tattoo either on the shoulder or at the lower back.

They are always cycling leisurely on the stationary bike, walking on the treadmill or taking it easy on the cross-trainer. Not a trace of sweat on them and the make-up stays. While they are on the machines, chances are they will say 'HI' or have someone say 'HI' to them. Why? Because they are so hot that everyone wants a piece of them.

Occasionally, you will find a genteel-looking male in this category too. He's always in a pair of really short shorts and sleeveless top. He is usually seen with a beefcake. (see 'The Beefcake')

(ii) The Beefcake
Definitely male. Gay or straight, it's another thing.

He's always clad in a sleeveless top - Nike or Adidas. He's got muscles. He's often found at the weights section. When he's there, he'll breathe very loudly to make his presence known.

He'll be carrying big heavy weights and working his shoulders or biceps. His breathing will equate the size & weight of his load so everyone will know how hard he's working. And yes, he ALWAYS has to be in front of the mirror so that he can check his posture. (Oh yeah!)

Look out for the hybrid - beefcake walking on chicken legs.

2. The Entertained
A-ha! You will always find these lads and lasses glued to the TV screen while on the stationary bike, treadmill or cross-trainer. Some of them come with iPods (minis), iShuffles, Creative Zens or whatever music gadget stuck to the ears. Did I mention that no sound comes out from the TV?

3. The Best Friends
These are the gymmies who make the best of their time in the gym - getting fit & building lasting friendships over the machines. You know who they are because they come & go in pairs. Sometimes, they share their water bottles because it's better to risk germs from friends than germs from the water coolers.

4. The Hardworker
These are the hardcore gymmies. They are the ones who are really working out & having a good sweat. These heros and heroines are always red in the face & sweaty. More often than not the machines become victims of this downpour, especially from the males because they work so hard. Usually, they are clad in big, unglam tees that were once worn at some corporate event or that the glory days of these tees faded because they have been forced to work hard with this hardworker.

5. The Groupies
This category of gymmies attend classes - Body Pump, Body Combat, Body Jam, Body Balance, Pilates, Cycle (RPM). They are the students and you know who they are by the stickers/tags on their towels or on some part of their outfit.

By the way, no one wears leotards in gyms these days. I haven't seen anyone in leotards at the gym so far. All thanks to Nike, Adidas, Reebok, Fila, etc that gym gear no longer makes one look like a retard. If you do see a gymmie in leotards, please let me know. I need to know what the uncool factor is. Otherwise, the gym remains one of the best places to see all kinds of people in all shapes and sizes, literally, even retards who are not in leotards.