Way down on Swanee River
Far, far away
That's where my heart is turning over
That's where the old folks stay
All up and down the whole creation
Sadly I roam
Still longing for the old plantation
And for the old folks at home
All the world is sad and dreary
Everywhere I roam
Oh Lordy, how my heart goes wreary
Far from the old folks at home
That's just the first verse & chorus of this traditional American tune by Stephen Foster. I learnt that on piano when I was 8 & my memory hasn't failed me because I still remember it to this day. Although this tune & the words have been interpreted in many other ways, it came to my mind because of the title. Over the last few days, I've had the oppotunity to have close encounters with old folks in homes.
Just last Sunday, I went with Dad's side of the family to visit my grand-aunty who's been checked into an aged home*. And today, I went with some colleagues to another aged home for a mini project on eye power (read: use eyes to look only). These 2 visits got me thinking about quite a few things:-
- What will I be like when I'm old?
- Is this the way I will be when I'm old?
- Will I look this way when I'm old?
- Am I going to be this lonely & helpless when I'm old?
When I looked at the weather-beaten faces of the aged ones, I wondered what storms raged in their lives & why/how they ended up in their present circumstances. I never got to ask any of them but somehow, I felt it a sad sight & feeling. If they had the security of family & home, they wouldn't have to be placed in a home as such with others facing the same insecurity.
Seeing all those aged ones in the homes was pretty much of an eye-opener but what struck me deepest was my own paternal Grandfather. After my Grandma passed away, he's been pretty much on his own too. I see how much he misses her & really, the pain of lonliness that cuts deep within him is visible. That is a painful thing for me to see. The old man limping, trying to lead his life normal as possible but something is just missing & no matter how hard we try or what we do as a family, it can never replace or repair the missing piece - my Grandma. I feel bad that I'm helpless, even though when I go there after work but by then I would be too tired to really involve myself with him & that's when I feel bad after I leave his house.
My maternal Grandma has passed on too. My maternal Grandpa certainly misses her but I think living with others, especially family members make a lot of difference. Mahjong, his fish, etc they occupy him but during those moments of silence & emptiness, I'm sure missing Grandma becomes more apparent.
But it has certainly taught me something, that whatever these aged ones & my Grandpa are going through, I don't want that happening to my own Dad, my brother, my husband, father-in-law, my sons...etc...you get the point.
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* My grand-aunty is checked into an aged home because her daughter is going to Hong Kong with her husband for some months & no one is around to take care of the old lady.
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