TV Talk

It's the time of the year again. All local TV channels will have a 'live' broadcast of what I call the Annual Report of the Party. I never really bother to watch it because it's the same thing year in, year out. It's always interesting to see though, how the camera captures the faces of the audience. Sometimes I feel sorry for them because it's more than 2 hours straight without any intervals for toilet break and obviously, these people must not fidget or show signs of boredom. In fact, they must all applaude and laugh. I'm so sure a cue card must be placed in front of the audience to tell them to applaude or laugh at the appropriate moment(s). This, of course, is in accordance to the speech (script). I think it will look something like this:

"I am convinced that our population will see an increase after Sexpo later this year [applause - 10sec]. We must ensure that this event achieves its objectives of educating the population about the importance of procreation in as much as some view it as recreation. Surely, we don't want it to become counterproductive such that we end up having to deal with the problem of overpopulation because of too much enthusiasm [laughter - 3 sec]."

I can never be a Party person. Never ever! For one, the PE fiasco is such a comedy of errors. I nearly flipped over when I saw the news report on TV. Supporters holding up placards with the Prez's face, supporters with pom-poms and politically correct racial make-up of the supporters. Didn't anyone notice that the supporters were mostly retirees with nothing better to do? I suppose they met the Prez at East Coast Park. So I don't think it's wrong to give your friend support on such an important day, the day which confirms that everything is the result of political and social engineering on this Little Red Dot.

That aside. On to something seriously funny. (oxymoronic, I know!)

Felt lazy in the afternoon so I turned on the TV and found myself watching some Bollywood film.

Thank God for subtitles otherwise, it's just blah blah blah to me. Bollywood films are very standard. This is how a typical plot goes.

- A man and woman fall in love.

- Her parents disapprove of their relationship and they plan for her to marry some distant uncle. The man and woman elope.

- Her father sends his henchmen to look for her.

- At the climax of the movie, the lovebirds are cornered by her father and henchmen.
* The woman cries out big time and declares her love for the man openly and why she can never love another.

*Then the woman's mother appears, together with another older woman (the young woman's nanny) and reveals the secret of the century. The lovebirds can never get married and be together because they are half-brother & half-sister. You see,(this is where the director will use the flashback technique, where the parents look 25 years younger) the father got drunk one night and it was the nanny (who was a young housemaid then) who opened the door and put his arm on her shoulder and walked him into the house. That ensued a moment of foolishness and...TADAH...a boy is born but had to be given away because it was inappropriate.

* Then flash to the present moment, the lovebirds are absolutely distraught. All does not end well. The young woman runs off in tears. Everyone calls out to her but she clearly ignores and keeps on running, with the entire cast, including the extras running after her but her loverboy is ahead of the pack and the mother is beating her chest and crying away.

* In the final scene by the river, where it shows everyone obviously tired from searching for this young woman, we see the young man beating his chest because he has found his darling but she drowned herself. Everyone cries and beats their own chests. In the final moments of the movie, this young man has flashbacks of happier days with his now-dead darling. With a resolute look, he jumps into the river and drowns himself in the hope that he will join his darling for eternity.

I can't help it but to notice the sound effects. Somehow or the other, you hear the sound of the slap even before it is delivered. If not, the person falls down dead before you hear the sound of the fire of the gun.

One thing nobody can miss in a Bollywood film is the amount of co-ordinated mass dancing that feature an array of colours. It usually takes place in a variety of settings - from the Swiss Alps to the city lights of New York to the well area outside the home of the female lead. It's quite spectacular, actually. It sure takes lots of effort choreographing and co-ordinating the dance steps plus going round the world to film and then edit the scene. Respect. Otherwise, you see a couple going round a tree and the girl smiling coyly at her suitor/lover behind the extra bits of cloth of her saree.

Here's the little tribute to the wonderful Bollywood films, that keep me entertained on a lazy Sunday afternoon.