The King of Fruits...NOT!

It is the bane of my life - the durian. Known as The King of Fruits, it is very popular in South-East Asia. I've never liked it since I was little & to this day, I absolutely hate it.

For starters, it doesn't even look attractive. It's sharp & prickly on the outside. The durian simply reminds me of some torture weapon from the medieval times. I'm serious! Had this fruit been employed as a weapon in that era, it certainly would have caused mass destruction. Very cruel indeed.

The smell. It puts me off. Just a couple of weeks ago, a pregnant colleague had a durian craving so she bought some & ate them at the work room. I was just walking in & the moment I opened the door, I nearly passed out. It was sooOoOo pungent & it didn't help that we were in an enclosed, air-con area. While it was heaven to her & those who were at it, it was hell for me. It was toture for me to be in that room & I immediately ran outside for air even though it was hot & stuffy outside. Blimey!

I remember the times when my family bought durians home to eat. I always suffered in the car because of the smell that would come from the boot. I would insist that they ate the durians in the backyard while I stayed in my room behind closed windows & doors.

The most disgusting part of this durian thing is the aftermath of consumption. I remember my brother coming up to me & breathing into me or burping into my face. YYYUUUCCCCKKSSS!!! The toilet would smell like hell the next day.

The neighbourhood is smelling of durian parties & it's a torture. The 'carcasses' of the durians are outside many houses, waiting to be picked up by the waste management team (what a nice name for them!). And I can assure you, it's toxic to me, especially in the hot & stuffy weather.

There is no running away from the King & it gets bigger. It used to be just ordinarily-graded durians then they had D24 & XO durian...??!!! What? Genetic engineering? So it tastes like XO?! And it isn't just the fruit because even the by-products of the durian puts me off - durian cake (remember those things friends/family bought when they come back from Bangkok or Malcca), durian cream puffs, durian chendol, durian wrappo....the list goes on.

It's a good thing nobody eats it at home now. I just have to put up with the neighbours' trash - the evidence of the crime of consuming my version of a WMD.

So, please, don't anyone out there durian me.