I am where I am

I quite like where I am - job-hunting, doing close to nothing everyday and making short trips to destinations in Europe. I am enjoying it while I can because I will be envious of this self years down the road when I am busy with everything life has in store for me.

Nonetheless, it is also at this time where so many questions pop up in the head. For one, it looks like I'll have to head back to Little Red Dot. Nothing wrong but the thing is that I've always felt displaced since I went back after finishing undergrad. I may have worked and lived there but I've always felt quite out of place since then. Could it be my the way I think, the way I work, my unconventional 'kick-arse' attitude that makes me stick out like a sore thumb?

I am already starting to miss my life in England even though I haven't left the place. I don't know why I have such a sense of belonging to this place even though it's not my home country. I fear what I will feel when I am back in Little Red Dot - the hangover and longing to be back in England. Although I may have lived in England for 4 years but I feel like these 4 years have been the years where I truly grew up. I have learnt and discovered so much about myself and picked up some wicked humour along the way. And I like it. I like who I am, where I am.

While so many questions about life and in life remain unanswered, I appreciate where I am and when I am in the seasons of my life. After all, seasons change and life goes on so what better to to treasure the beauty of season than to celebrate it with the right clothes, the right attitude, the right state of mind and to store them in the memory for the future.