How do I say it?

Everybody, please say 'WOW!' Just check this pair of ear rings out. I can die!!! It's the Armour Pierced Earrings from Swarovski's Spring/Summer 2006 collection. This beauty is rhodium-plated, set with crystals of varoius colours (Swarovski, of course!).


I'll go very broke if I keep going 'wow'. I need to hide myself away from the Internet, from shopping malls, from the TV, etc etc. Am I vain or am I not satisfied with what I already have? Greed? All of that? I don't know. Perhaps, so.
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It's the school holidays. Somehow, it doesn't feel like it. There is much unfinished business yet to be done & I leave for England in 2 days time. By the way, I still haven't packed. I just don't feel like it. I just don't. There's no excitement in me where this trip is concerned. Although I've been running around & getting things done for this trip, but it's merely administrative stuff for students, safety forms, emergency forms, etc etc. It's just overwhelming. By going on this trip, not only is it stressful with 42 kids, but the knowledge of 84 parents who are super anxious into the necks of teachers..that's just bleah!

This trip carries a HUGE opportunity cost. I'm not just talking about the fact that I have to pay for it but I'm talking time-wise. I lose 1 week of time with my Mum & brother. I lose 1 week of time I could be using for OTHER work. Sigh!

After this trip, I'll be going to NYC again. It's such a rush-rush thing because the moment I arrive from London, I go home for a couple of hours & I go back to the airport again to catch a flight to New York. It's madness, I tell you! And yes, yes, I'm packing work with me. I wish I didn't have to because I would be in deep, deep trouble when term re-opens & I have unfinished work. Actually, when does work ever end? SO TO ALL YOU WHO THINK THAT TEACHERS HAVE LONG HOLIDAYS, PLEASE WAKE UP!! Don't think you can change the world because you can't, especially when your own is enough to drive one suicidal.

I need time to myself & shut out the whole world & really have a good think on what I want in life. For sure, this is not the way I want to be & feel. So I have to do something about it. My hands & legs are tied down now but one day, I'll grow wings & fly away. You know, such uncertainty is a double-edged sword. On one hand, uncertainty can bring such insecurity but on the other, uncertainty means that the whole world is out there with boundless opportunities.

While I'm going through this & still yet unsure of what I want to do, I know for sure that what I'm going through now & what I'm feeling are things that I do NOT want. So with my eyes open & ears all sharp, I shall keep myself opened to the big wide world ahead of me.